Just a "See ya later"

I have trouble defining the feeling I've had walking into this final week of living in the "Burgh." For the most part, I've been in complete denial that we are actually  moving on the 27th, hoping that somehow THAT will make it true....but knowing that it really won't. :)  Nonetheless, we have had an incredible year out here in Pittsburgh, as Nathan has been serving out his internship at Ruthfred Lutheran Church and we are going to have a hard time saying good-bye.

And now the tears commence.

Uffda, the reality has set in, I am no longer in denial as our house sits almost completely packed and as we eat off of plastic because all of the dishes are packed away. I just finished rocking our not-so-little-anymore son back to sleep from waking up a bit too early for the day. There is something incredibly peaceful and relaxing about rocking a child in a rocking chair as they cuddle in your embrace as the early  morning rays of sun peek through the blinds. After this morning, his room will be boxes and a pack-n-play and the crib and rocking chair will be out of his room for ease of packing the truck the day it comes.

Josiah has covered so many milestones here in this parsonage! He learned to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, babble, and got his first teeth here.  He graduated to a crib when we moved here, he began sleeping through the night (finally) and was weaned here. He learned how to wave bye-bye, how to use baby sign language, and how to fold his hands to pray here. He learned how to play in the great outdoors here and what a cool, wiggly worm feels like in his hands here. And there is so much more for him to learn after we leave here as well, but it is cool to see what all he's been through in our short time here.

 

 

Nathan has learned the life of ministry from a new perspective here. He's been able to do countless visitations to people in the church and to share God's encouraging Words with them. The exposure he has had to the down-in-the-trenches life of a pastor is priceless. He's done funerals, weddings, baptisms, youth group, youth and adult Sunday School, confirmation, small group work, counseling, visitations, and so many more things that I probably don't even realize that he's had the opportunity to experience and do. I've watched him grow in his preaching abilities, I've seen him wrestle through tough situations and come out on the other side having learned something, and I've watched how God has used him as His instrument in bestowing His grace, love, truth, forgiveness, and sometimes even confrontation amongst His flock. Aside from church, I've witnessed him become a delightful dad who has the complete adoration of our son, and I've grown to love him even more as my husband and best friend. Just like his name comes up in my phone, he is "God's perfect gift to me."

As for me, this has been a emergent year for me. I have made deep, long-lasting friendships with other moms who have lived in the daily trenches of motherhood with me, who have shared life freely and openly with me (and vice versa), who have loved on  me and blessed me into this role of motherhood (Josiah was just 2.5 mo. old when we came out here). I have been deeply touched by members of the congregation who have come alongside each of us in our family and made lasting impacts on our lives in many different ways. I have wrestled through what it means to be a mother, what I want to be as a godly homemaker, how I am gifted to serve as a pastor's wife, and emerged better on the other side.

There are members who have invested in Nathan's life as encouragers in his journey to becoming a pastor and teacher. There are those who have taken Josiah under their wing and shown him the love of Jesus through their one-on-one interactions with him at church and through babysitting. There are those who have lifted me up in my role as a mother, wife, and pastor's wife, and given me the freedom to be the person I've been created to be as each of those roles are played out in my life.

Not to mention all of the travelling we've been able to do! We've visited D.C., Niagra Falls, Philadelphia, the Statue of Liberty, Punxstawney, Amish country in Lancaster, the Creation Museum, and probably more of Pittsburgh than your average Pitssburgher. The experiences we have had here are numerous and each one has been a blessing to add to our list of gifts from God.

It's just a 'see ya later,' because we will be back. Pittsburgh will forever have a special place in our hearts and we can't imagine not coming back after how this place has left such an imprint on our hearts in such a short amount of time.

Pray for us in these next couple of days and weeks as we transition to St. Louis and begin another journey and learn another place that is completely new to us. Lift us up in prayer as Nathan prepares to begin his PhD classes, as I work to make our new house a home, and as Josiah adjusts to new surroundings and tries to understand what is happening.

~ These are the times that make me smile ~

These lyrics have been running through my head all week. 

We have been teaching our son some sign language via "Baby Signing Time" to help him communicate certain things to us even before he starts speaking real words and it's working! The songs that are interspersed are so catchy that they are even stuck in Nathan's head, and he's only heard the songs a few times!

 I especially love this song because even more than how it talks about asking a child to show us a sign, it plays at the strings of my heart in how much I love being my boy's mama. I find myself singing it to him throughout the day and it reminds me of how precious this time with him is and the beauty of motherhood and it's many labors of love. 

"How are you doing little one, my little one, my little one

I'd like to know what's on your mind

Our days together, time together, you and me, our one on one,

These are the times that make me smile

You make me smile

Tell me that you love me

Tell me that you're thinking of me

Tell me all about the things you're thinking

Day and night, both day and night.

Tell me that your happy

And you love it when we're laughing

Tell me more, oh tell me more, show me a sign

Show me a sign, show me a sign

Every day you grow up more

And teach me more

About what I'm here for

And every day I love you more,

I love you more, I love you!

Tell me that you love

Tell me that you're thinking of me

Tell me all about the things you're thinking

Day and night, both day and night

Tell me that you're happy,

And you love it when we're laughing

Tell me more, oh tell me more, show me a sign"

A Nathan-style Labor of Love

That look. That look in his eyes gives me goosebumps. That look from 4 years ago when we were dating and decided to take some random fun pictures at a park remains the same even today. It looks like the picture below, of him 

holding our son for the first time in one arm and holding my hand in the other as the midwife tended to me in the delivery room.






And do you know just what that look holds? It encompasses love, affection, loyalty, servant leadership, sacrifice, appreciation, patience, gentleness, and pure joy that he offers to the young woman God ordained that he should meet, court, and marry. It holds commitment, saying, "I love you no matter what, I promise." It holds a vow to God to love me as Christ loves the church and laid His life down for her.



I love this guy so much, my heart almost explodes when I stop to think of just how blessed I am that God brought us together. I do not even come close to deserving him.

This man loves so well. He sets a wonderful example for me of what it means to live a daily labor of love. Can I just boast in the Lord's work through this man for a moment?



Since we met, Nathan has been a humble servant leader. He watches out for my well being and leads us spiritually in daily devotions as a couple. He seeks to find ways to encourage me and bring out God's best in me. Quotes like, "That is a GREAT idea!" encourage me greatly. He can make me laugh and he can bring on the waterworks (good ones <3) with just a few words from his lips. He tells me I'm beautiful; he really means and believes it even when my hair hasn't been washed in days and I'm still in my mismatching pajamas in the afternoon. He breaks the stereotype of what a lot of people think of men to be, but he doesn't act all proud and snooty about being different. It's just who he is and he doesn't succumb to the stereotypes.

God has molded in him a heart to love others very deeply. He genuinely has a heart of love for people and you can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice that he isn't just offering lip service. At work he is pulled in many different directions and dimensions of ministry displaying his flexibility and ability to be in the moment with a person in their given situation of trial, praise, or question. He gives them his full attention. What a guy!

He works hard, and I mean really hard, and it is all done as a daily labor of love for His King (Colossians 3:23). He can squeeze so much productivity into a single hour it makes my head spin. I remember one night when we were both writing papers at the kitchen table (his for a Seminary Class, mine for a college counseling class) and he whipped out a 7 page paper in the time I had barely gotten 2 pages typed. He is a machine, yet his work is high quality. He works hard but still makes the time to stop me while I'm cleaning around the house to offer a hug of appreciation and gratitude for my labors of love at home. I am so grateful for the testimony he lives in all of these ways (and many others) because it keeps me focused on Christ, the Author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1-2)

He is also a fantabulous Dad! (yes, I just made that word up) From the moment I got the positive on the pregnancy test, he initiated nightly prayers for our child, something we have continued with devotions every night with Josiah before he goes to bed. Our house is right across the street from church, so Josiah eagerly awaits at the door as Daddy walks home from work, bouncing and yelling "Da" through the window. Nathan loves to engage him in many games of singing and dancing, chasing around the house and playing peak-a-boo, and the famous whisker rubs that really bring out the giggles and squeals!

He is living a wonderful example to Josiah of what it looks like to be a family man, a man who honors God first and foremost, a man who works hard with great integrity, and a man who also knows how to relax and be silly.

I love this man, I love him as my husband, my friend, and the father to our son.  Happy Father's Day Nathan!

         

The waves and wind still know His name

"Grander earth has quaked before

moved by the sound of his voice

seas that are shaken and stirred

can be calmed and broken for my regard"

In my last post, I shared with you how the seas of our hearts felt shaken and stirred as we searched for alternate housing options during our 3-4 year stay in St. Louis. We watched the moments and days tick by with no solid lead on what path to take and less than three months to moving day. We spent hours on the phone, on the computer, and in prayer trying to make sense of where God may be leading us and how to make the wisest and most responsible decision for our family.

"Through it all

through it all

my eyes are on You

through it all

through it all

it is well

through it all

through it all

my eyes are on You

and it is well with me"

God has been so gracious to us through it all, and I have been reminded frequently to Fully Rely On God (my phrase to focus on for the year). It has been beautiful and often stilling to see the ways God is choosing to teach me this simple thing He desires of us...to fully rely on Him and Him alone. His eye is on the sparrow. With our eyes fixed on Him, we waited to see more of the picture He had in store for us. 

"Far be it from me to not believe

even when my eyes cannot see

And this mountain that's in front of me

will be thrown into the midst of the sea"

We didn't even have the slightest idea of where this search would lead, and our eyes could not see what lie ahead. Sometimes we would sigh and try to make sense of the situation we saw before us, but we knew that we had to let go and trust Him because we knew He could see it all. He had us in the palm of His hand through it all and the mountain that stood before us was indeed thrown into the midst of the sea!

"Through it all

through it all

my eyes are on You

through it all

through it all

it is well

So let go my soul and trust in Him
the waves and wind still know His name"

Our God IS faithful and He has brought us to the place that was previously known as the unknown future and we see much clearer now. A beautiful home will now be ours to live in and grow in over the next 3-4 years. We couldn't have asked for a more wonderful answer to prayer. A beautiful and cozy home, a price we can make manageable payments on, a location that ensures safety and proximity to the school, and realtors who have truly been a miracle to us in all the work they have put into helping us through this process.

You never know what the future holds until you get there, and though it may not be what you expected, what you do know is that the future is held tightly in the loving hands of an Almighty God. 

"So let go my soul and trust in Him

the waves and wind still know His name

the waves and wind still know His name"

I am reminded of the time when the disciples found themselves in the stirring seas of Galilee. They could not see what lie ahead for them and the seas of their hearts as well as the seas around them were being stirred and shaken about. But there, on the mountainside was Jesus, keeping watchful eye over them. He went out and met them in the middle of the storm to calm their troubled hearts and refocus their eyes onto Him. He calmed the storm around them too, to remind them that

"the waves and wind still know His name"

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement to us in this time as we move ahead to what God has in store for us in these next months and years. For now we continue on in the process of making this new-found home officially ours, preparing to end our time in Bethel Park well, and keeping our eyes fixed on Him.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

The lyrics interspersed throughout this post are from a lovely song I found this past year called, "It is well" by Bethel Music. I love how God refocuses our eyes on Him in the stirred seas of life to help us see that the waves and wind do still know their Creator's name. Here is the link to listen to the song.

~God is with us each step of the way~

I'm always caught off-guard when something doesn't go the way I thought it would or when things happen totally out of the blue. For the past two weeks things have been a bit unsettled around the Olson household. Stress has been high and the unknowns of the future have kept us gripping the edge of our seats. My recent labors of love in our home have unfortunately been more so labors done in haste and labors lacking grace or patience. Our eyes are focused upwards in prayer as we navigate what lies ahead for us in the coming weeks, months, and even years.

As many of you know, our internship out in Pennsylvania is nearing its close and we have been getting prepared for Nathan to graduate from Seminary back in Minnesota in a few weeks. We are also beginning to gaze ahead towards our time in St. Louis as Nathan pursues his PhD in Systematic Theology. We will be stationed there for 3-4 years and will be serving a church in conjunction with attending the Seminary. Details have been falling into place over the last months as we've been working to get all of our ducks in a row to move in a little over three months.

Things got a bit unsettled last week as we received news that we did not get on-campus housing at Concordia Seminary where we are moving to in a little over 3 months. Our plan and our hope had been to live on campus for many different reasons, those of which I will spare you for now. We were very diligent in submitting our application the moment registrations for housing opened. Yet, even though we did our best to wait without expectations or assumptions, we were still disheartened to hear we would have to look elsewhere for a place to live.

It was a bit unsettling for my husband, the leader of our family, to now have the burden of finding a resting place for his wife and son in a matter of three months. Things have continued to become more unsettled as we have sought options of apartments, houses, live-in care options, basement rentals and found ourselves at several dead ends or unrealistic goals. Is it just me or does everything seem to happen all at once like a big dam breaks and whoosh, you're overwhelmed?

Other things rushing through that broken dam and unsettling our home included injury and sickness raiding our home. I took a spill down the stairs at church on Wednesday with our son in the front pack and severely twisted my ankle which now is a swollen rainbow of colors. Praise God I fell in such a way that he wasn't hurt and praise God that he was in the front pack and not on my hip so that I didn't drop him. Then to add insult to injury, we've all had bad colds and sleepless nights throughout the last two weeks. Josiah and I had two bouts with colds and are still recovering from cold number two.

So, when I came across the above picture that I took 5 years ago shortly after beginning school at AFLBS in Minneapolis, MN, I couldn't help but chuckle and tear up at the same time. The last two weeks have been a bit unsettling, but God IS with us each step of the way. Days get rough sometimes and our hearts can get a bit unsettled, but we are not alone. God, the God of angel armies sees our every move. He walks with us and guides us as a Father guides his child.

As we go through this process in the days and weeks ahead, would you pray for us? Join us in prayer over our housing situation. Join us in praying for smooth transitions as we end our time in PA and begin our time in MO.

May God bless your day this day and always, and no matter how smooth or rough this day, know that God is with you each and every step of the way.

New Life

I can't even begin to describe to you just how delighted I am when spring finally arrives. Every year when the snow melts away after what seems like the longest winter you've ever experienced, (even though this same thing happens every year believe it or not) I let out a big sigh and think, "I made it, I truly thought it would never end!" I actually get giddy over going outside barefoot in the cool green grass and sitting on my front steps basking in the sun (in a sweatshirt of course because it's barely 50 degrees outside).

               After a long winter,

                               spring really brings into focus

                            just how sweet new life is. 

OUR new life in Christ, because of His death and resurrection from the dead, is even sweeter than seeing the first green blades of grass and breathing deep lung-fulls of fresh air after a long, cold, and dark winter.

 Life in Christ is more brilliant than the rays of a spring sun that fill the sky, proclaiming freedom for new life to spring forth!

Happy 1st Birthday!

Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. 

Our precious little boy celebrated his Birth Day 365 short days ago 

weighing in at 7 lbs. 4 oz.  21 inches long and full of handsomeness. 

Today he celebrates his One year birthday 

weighing in at 20 lbs. 29 inches long and still full of handsomeness!

Our hearts have been overflowing with love and joy since the day he arrived.

~Birthday Breakfast~
Pancakes, eggs, and applesauce

Happy 1st Birthday Josiah!

Josiah - 1 Cupcake - 0

Dearest Josiah

      Dearest little one, it seems just like yesterday that you woke us up at 4 am to announce your plans to start the adventure in the outside world. You entered this world with eyes wide open ready to take on anything, and that's exactly what you've done. Each day you discover new ways to play, new things you can do, new ways to make your mama and daddy laugh. 
      You've just begun to take multiple steps at a time and it is such a joy to us to see the joy in your face as you take each step with glee. I love how you cackle when you reach your destination and how you look to me or daddy for praise in your accomplishment. My heart sings when you wrap your little arms around me neck and snuggle your head into my shoulder when you get tired. Or when we dance, I love how you hold your little hand in mine and smile as we spin and sway. 
      You have a innate heart to help others as you already help me unload the dishwasher by handing me each piece of silverware with such joy, all on your own initiative. And you love to share. You share everything, even your first cupcake on your birthday. You had to let mama and daddy in on the yummy goodness of frosting and chocolate cake. 
      I am deeply grateful to be your mama, to watch you grow and learn and discover this big world. To have the opportunity to teach you as one of God's precious children about His love, grace, and mercy is one of the highest, daunting, and most fulfilling callings out there. And somehow God has graciously seen fit to grant such a task to this woman you call mama. I pray God's riches blessings and guidance upon you young boy. I love you baby boy, Happy 1st Birthday!

                     Love,
                         Mama

So often I feel so unworthy, so unprepared, so lacking, as I teach this young man. There is so much to teach him, so much that even I am still learning and struggling through to understand. God knows that though, He knows that I'm not perfect for this job, He knows that I've still got lots to learn. That same unworthiness I feel is what is also so beautiful about the labor of love of motherhood.

Each day God patiently molds and shapes me. He carves and forms me into what this young man needs in a mama to help him grow into a young godly man, full of wisdom and stature. He often sends me a little boost of encouragement as my son looks up at me and smiles with that sweet smile that reminds me that it's not me he sees, it's Jesus. It's moments like that (and so many others too) that I Praise the Lord that He works through us especially in our weaknesses. He supplies us with all we need and for that, I am daily humbled and grateful.