my thoughts...His thoughts

If you would have asked me even 3 years ago what my dream and goal in life was, this would have been my answer. I plan to go into pre-vet at Kansas State, marry a farmer, live on a farm out in the middle of nowhere, and have lots of kids, land, and cattle. All my life, all I wanted to do was to stay on the farm. I hated the city with all the hustle and bustle and lack of peace. Everyone was too busy for anything, even family, and no one ever stopped to appreciate the beauty around them. Give me my wide open skies, the smell of freshly baled hay, hands weathered by hard physical labor, late nights riding in the combine, and homegrown cooking. It was just what I wanted and it involved all of the things that I grew up with and loved with all my heart, so I thought that was what God wanted me to do too…. After all, He doesn’t give us desires without reason….

Fast forward 3 years to present day.

As you can probably deduce from my previous posts, I did not marry a farmer, we don’t even live close to a farm, and we definitely do not own any cattle. So what happened? Why did God place such a powerful desire in my heart and then crush it right before my very eyes? Why would he match me up with a pastor-in-training, guaranteeing many moves and little hope of ever living on a farm? Why would we be making our home in the Twin Cities of all places? What kind of lesson was God trying to teach me?

Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

The desires in my heart were not foolish desires, nor were they dreams and desires that God placed there with the intention of crushing them later. Rather they were desires that God placed there but I added my own theory to. I love to do labor with my very own hands. I love to walk amongst a field of corn and stand in awe of how God causes a 12 foot stalk of corn to grow from a teeny tiny seed. I love to see the Lord provide in the direst situations of drought and harsh weather. I love the sense of family and community in the farming sphere. Those desires all add to up to the life of a farmer, right? How could it be seen any other way?

Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

And then I realized it. Not on my own, but rather through the words of a very wise woman. She had asked what my testimony was and as i relayed the desires of my youth (marry a farmer, lots of land, etc.) and the realities of today (pastor's wife, no farm, etc.) and my acceptance of God's will for my life, she said, "well, you just married a different kind of farmer."

A different kind of farmer?

Then it hit me....

As a farmer, you live amongst your work, endure the struggles of labor, and withstand harsh weather. At the same time, you watch God miraculously grow the crops that you labored over --> cultivating, watering, and showing tender care to each one. You see Him provide in the direst of situations of draught and unforgiving weather.

As a pastor (my husband), you live amongst your work, endure hard labor, and withstand harsh 'weather.' At the same time, you watch God miraculously grow the 'field' that you labored over --> cultivating, watering, and showing tender care to each member of that field. You see Him provide in the direst of situations of draught (spiritual or monetary) and unforgiving weather (trials).

Luke 10:2 "And He was saying to them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.'"

I did get to marry a farmer! The farmer of my dreams to be exact! I do get to live on a farm! Lord willing, we will be able to have many children. I do get to stand in a field in awe of the miracles where God has caused His children to grow and flourish under His rule and reign. My labor is a labor of love in God's spiritual field.

Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

Praise God for His plan for our lives, even when it doesn't always make sense to us or when we see it differently.