Jesus Saves

"(for the law made nothing perfect); but on the other hand, a better hope is introduced, through which we draw near to God." Hebrews 7:19

So often, our lives as Christians can become filled with the law. We ought to read our Bibles more, we ought to be more intentional with discipling our children, we ought to be better Proverbs 31 women, we ought to evangelize more, we ought to give more, teach more, pray more, lead more, serve more, more, more, more. But the law made nothing perfect.

Even I can get bogged down by what more I think I ought to be doing. My self talk and thoughts can become so negative and I begin to lose sight of God's grace and sometimes even the truth of the gifts and talents He has given me. We get Justification and Sanctification a little mixed up.

One pastor once coined it as "Janctification." A cross-over happens and somehow we begin to "ought to" our way into being a 'good Christian' and good standings before God. The fact of the matter though, is that

Only Jesus saves, not our lists of "ought to's" or our good deeds. "The law says, >>do this<<, and it is never done. Grace says, >>believe in this<<, and everything is already done."

Jesus saves, and there is NOTHING we can do to make ourselves 'look good' before God because even our good works are like filthy rags because we are sinful human beings. Being justified is a done deal, nothing to work up to; we cannot become more justified.

Sanctification though, now that is something the Holy Spirit is working out in us day by day, a process that will never be completed until our days here on Earth are through. We are all slowly and sometimes painfully being shaped and molded to be more like Christ, but we must never lose sight of the FACT that as a sinner saved by grace, our position in Christ does not change based on our performance.

Movin' Movin' Movin'

Mobility...the delight of our 8 month old!

He has just begun the endeavor of swimming his way across our floors, discovering that he can get to things himself now....which means....INDEPENDENCE!

Now that our little man can get to whatever is within army crawling distance on the floor, it is now time to get things up off the floor and out of reach of his exploring hands. The evil dust bunnies or little crumbs that fall off of the table; the cord running from the lamp to the outlet and the hot doors to the gas fireplace. Uffda, who knew this world could be so excitingly dangerous?!?

It is such a joy to watch him become more aware of his surroundings lately. He turns to find out where the sound of the beeping watch came from or to listen to the church bells ringing outside every day at noon and six o'clock. He understands the difference between our things and his...which means that of course our things are much more interesting and cool to touch and put in his mouth. 

"Yummy, that phone tastes so good, I tell you what, who knew technology could taste to good!"

Our tough guy is cruising too! He loves to go back and forth along our coffee tables or couches and his delight is expressed in constant babbling of 'dada' and 'babababa.' (Dad definitely won that one) He will get so excited that he starts to bob up and down, groovin so much that he usually ends up bopping his mouth on the edge. But, as I said he's a tough guy, he doesn't even skip a beat, just keeps going. In fact, just after his tough encounter with the table, he'll lean his head down and give it a big ol' kiss as if to say, "sorry about that, I'll kiss your booboo!" What a character!

Children truly are a blessing from the Lord and it is such a pleasure to watch our little one grow and learn more about himself and the world around him. Next on the docket...walking! 

Bests

Sometimes I sit and ponder what my ideal life would look like, who it would look like, what I would and wouldn't do, what my home would look like, and the cute outfits I would wear. And so many times, the first thing that comes into my mind to get ideas from is facebook. I think of all the wonderful things that mom does, or the fun dates that couple always goes on, or the great cooking so-and-so accomplishes, or the beautiful home this family has put together, or the latest fashion statement outfit that a friend just posted a selfie of, or, or, or...... the list goes on and on and it can become so discouraging. Comparing myself to all the 'bests' that everyone else does.

I was recently talking on the phone with a friend who lives over a thousand miles away from me and we were talking about motherhood. We talked about the sweatpants we were wearing and the messy hair that got thrown up into a ponytail that day because there just wasn't time to spend half an hour curling it for the day because the kiddos were already up and needing breakfast. We talked about the dishes that were still sitting in the sink and the husband that didn't get encouraged that day like we had hoped to. We talked about being tired and how it is so easy to get discouraged by all the things that didn't get done that day, all the things we couldn't be that day. We talked about how we've both threatened to just quit facebook because we spend too much time looking at what everyone else is doing in the world.

And then we both realized that facebook, pinterest, etc. are just everyone's 'bests.' 

And that's just it, that's what facebook is, that's what pinterest is, what so much of our media is. We put our "bests" out there for everyone else to see. We often use it as a way to get praise for all the cool things we do, the awesome clothes we wear, the weird things we eat, the 'perfect' marriage that we have.....but is it reality? Is it an accurate picture of our lives, or just the top picks of the week?

You don't really see the full picture of the lives of those on facebook. You just see their 'bests.' It can be so easy to see those bests and compare our current state of sweatpants and messy ponytail to the recently posted selfie of the gal in her new yoga pants and seemingly perfect make-up who just got done running her morning 10k.

I am the first to admit too, though, that I often post my 'bests' on facebook because quite honestly, I would rather not reveal the picture of the dirty kitchen floor or the loads of laundry that haven't gotten folded yet.

All I'm saying is that

it isn't fair to compare ourselves to the small snippets 

of life that we see other people posting about

when we don't see the full picture.

Life's not supposed to be about comparison, it's about being a light, it's about Jesus. It's not about the clothes we wear or the cool things we do, it's about the righteousness we are clothed with because of the awesomeness done for us by Jesus on the cross. It's not about how perfect we try to make our lives look, it's about the truly perfect life that Christ lived for us because we couldn't.

Disclaimer: Just as a disclaimer, I am not trying to bash anyone with this post. I appreciate those of you who post real life stuff, who aren't just looking to get likes and comments on their post or picture. I am glad you are out there keeping it real. Please know that I am thankful for facebook and pinterest, etc. and the wonderful ways that we can stay connected with the ones we love and still share life though we may be hundreds or thousands of miles apart.

Habbakuk 3:19

Habakkuk 3:19
"The sovereign LORD is my source of strength.
He gives me the agility of a deer;
He helps me to negotiate the rugged terrain."

Verse 19 of this chapter really stuck out to me, seeing how confident Habakkuk is in God's ability to bring him through even the tough situations. It isn't a confidence that God will victoriously and painlessly solve all of his (and the nation's) issues, but it IS confidence that no matter the circumstance, come mountain high or valley low, God will be there to guide and strengthen him.

This verse came as a great comfort particularly during the hours leading up to our son J's birth. Painful contraction after painful contraction, my mind and body were being stretched beyond bounds they had ever experienced.

"The sovereign LORD is my source of strength...." Just make it through this contraction, just focus on this one contraction and we'll deal with the next one when it comes.

"He gives me the agility of a deer;..." this pain is crippling, Lord your grace is sufficient, help me to focus on You and to relax my mind and body.

"He helps me to negotiate the rugged terrain." No baby yet?!? As hard as I'm pushing, you'd think baby would have literally popped out by now! Seriously! This kicks butt. [no pun intended ;)] Keep climbing, keep climbing through, the summit is so near, you can almost see it.

God was and is good and our little boy was born healthy with eyes wide open, ready to take on the world. The summit was reached and we praised God for guiding us through. We beheld the beauty of parenthood as one views the endless mountains from the summit. The view almost takes your breath away, and then you pause and look back at how far you've come. The hike was hard, treacherous at times, but you made it.

Other times in our lives look like this as well.... the rugged terrain, the steep climb that seems unconquerable, slips and trips along the way that discourage us as we keep going, one foot in front of the other. God is there, right beside us, guiding us through the rugged terrain.

For some of us and in some seasons of life, that climb is long. Our life is like a mountain range with one mountain after another to climb. The climb is hard and sometimes the summit isn't even visible as trees and huge boulders prevent us from seeing the top. Sometimes we encounter what we think is the summit only to find it as a knoll not even half-way up the mountain.

"The sovereign LORD is my source of strength.
He gives me the agility of a deer;
He helps me to negotiate the rugged terrain."

At times, I ponder how He is giving me the agility of a deer, because quite frankly I don't feel flexible or able to traipse through the current situation, but He IS there, patiently guiding, giving me the strength I need for that situation. And then, when I...we get to the top, I look around and revel in the beauty. Then I glance back at how far I've...we've come. That's when I realize that no matter the circumstance, He DID provide the strength, agility, and discernment all along the way. He didn't just fly me to the top and save me from the climb. He didn't say, "O, we'll just skip this mountain, it's a big one." No, He steadily and patiently guides us up, step by step.

The 6th Month

"No matter how much time passes,

no matter what takes place in the interim,

there are some things we can never assign to oblivion,

memories we can never rub away."

~Haruki Murakami~

My mind continues to short circuit as it attempts to comprehend the sheer fact that our son is six months old.  

Our little guy has gone from this...

to this....

He has such joy and his smiles hold nothing back.

Oh, little one, may this joy you have never run dry. I pray that these moments will remain as memories burned in my mind for days and years to come.

I want to remember how you:

• crinkle your nose when you laugh, just like I do
• cross your feet at your ankles as you ride in the carseat or stroller or even as you play on the floor
• squeal with delight when you see daddy running down the hallway to come and give you a zerbert on your tummy
• calm down and listen intently as I sing "Amazing Grace" and then "May the Lord" to you before you head off to dream land at bedtime
• take your pacifier in and out of your mouth just for fun
• grasp onto my clothes with your chubby little hands and burrow your face in my shoulder when you get excited
• open your mouth as big as you possibly can and eagerly lean forward in anticipation of what mama will feed you on that spoon coming towards your mouth
• sleep on your hands during nap time and wake up with perfect little indentations of your fingers all over your face
• bat your arms up and down when you get excited

Oh, little one, I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, 

as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

God's Perfect Gift to Me

I just realized that I never posted this back in May, it was still sitting in my drafts...oops... but I wanted to post it despite it being so late because even so, I still daily celebrate the fact that I married this wonderful man!!

It was two years ago that we said "I do." We said I Do to loving each other through thick and thin, to bearing with one another in our silliness and stubborness, to encouraging one another as we walk through this life, to being Jesus to each other sharing the gift of unconditional love and sacrifice, to being a witness to their life. Someone once said, " We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet...I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things...all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

A good many things have been witnessed by us as we've walked through the last two years of marriage. :) We've seen each other laugh and cry. We've had evenings watching the sunset cuddle up together, and we've also had evening where we worked late into the night just to get things done. We've served the Lord side by side and loved doing so. We've done our best to live out the verses engraved on the insides of our wedding rings. On his, Ephesians 5:25 where Paul speaks to husbands, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." On mine, Ruth 1:16-17 "...Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates us."

I love this man I married because he is God's Perfect Gift to Me. None other would do, God chose him specifically for me and I am ever so thankful.

Nathan and I celebrated our 2 year Anniversary a month early because our Anniversary falls on THE day that we move into our new house in Pittsburgh. Our trip consisted of an overnight stay on a Bed & Breakfast passenger car train in WI, but no children allowed, so Josiah stayed home with Auntie Naomi and Uncle Isaac for his first 24 hours away from Mama (and Daddy). I am so blessed to know this man. He is God's Perfect Gift to me, truly, I do not know what I would do without him in my life! He is my #1 fan and greatest encourager. He leads me (us including Josiah) in the ways of the Lord and points us to Jesus daily. I love how he signs off his emails with "Only Jesus" as his signoff because it is so true of his life. God is so good.

Won't you stay awhile?

The sun sets behind the silhouette of the church steeple outside my kitchen window, painting broad strokes of soft pastels that gently welcome the stars into the night sky. I feel peace in the evening. Sitting outside and feeling the smooth, cool air on my skin while all of nature sings it's song into the night, brings a calm end to a busy day. So peaceful, so serene.This is me time, my time alone with God. Him and me, & me and Him.

Have you ever heard the saying, "Make time for the quiet moments when God whispers and the world is loud."? Won't you stay awhile? What would God have to say to you as you pause this evening to listen while nature sings it's lullaby? 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I love you.

I am for you.

I love watching you and revealing Myself to you throughout your day.

You matter.

You are not alone.

When there's not enough you to go around, I AM enough.

I rejoice over you.

I am watching out for you, your comings in and your goings out.

Seeing you laugh and enjoy life brings me joy.

You are my child.

I love you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And then....stillness. The serenity of sitting in the presence of God. Just you and He, & He and you.


I love you too Daddy, thank you.

Moments

I love these moments

and these....

and these too...

and definitely these...

But you know what? Some days, these moments are the only thing keeping me going. When diapers need to be washed and they scream "WASH ME PLEASE!!!" from the pail in the bathroom. When sleep is a distant memory and you can't remember the last time you slept for more than 3 hours at one time. When hubby comes home from lunch early to find there's no food on the stove, in fact, his wife hasn't even thought of what to make yet.... When a child demands your every waking moment and you can't seem to even catch a moment to yourself. When your hair is greasy and your mascara spends more time looking like black saggy bags underneath your eyes than upbeat and on your eyelashes. Those are the days when life gets hard, when life as a mom truly becomes a labor of love and a life of true surrender to Jesus Christ. Because on those days, all we can do is sink to our knees and weep saying, 

"Lord, there is NO way I can make it through this day on my own, 

but somehow these moments keep ticking by, so I need Your help. 

I need Your strength to make it through the next five minutes. 

I need Your patience to juggle children and cooking and laundry 

and cleaning. I need Your peace to know that this calling is worth it. 

And I need Your help to be thankful because these moments 

that seem so hard...well they will only be here for so long and 

someday I'll be wishing they were back. Come Lord Jesus 

and be present here with me today, right now, 

even in my weary and helpless state."

And then somehow, God is so gracious to remind me of the blessings of this beautiful labor of love. He brings me up out of the depths of despair with reminders of the little joys that break up the hard days. The gentle touch of tiny fingers tickling your side as he eats in the middle of the night. The big eyes that watch you intently while you read him a Bible story before bed. The sheer joy in his body as he wiggles and squiggles in your lap. The surprised look on his face when he discovers something new. The giggles bubbling up from his soul as his belly is tickled. The sighs in the night as he slumbers peacefully while you sit by his crib with tears streaming down your face, wishing that these moments would last forever. 

God is good, and this labor of love...well, it can sometimes be like the Sea of Galilee, you never know when a storm will kick up and rock your world (literally). But remember that story in the Bible? Remember what happened in that big storm where the disciples had been rowing for probably 9+ hours and thought they weren't going to make it? Yeah, Jesus came to the rescue. He literally walked on the water in that storm and came exactly to where his disciples were struggling, right into the thick of it....and he brought peace to them in that storm. He brought peace to them. What a beautiful hope we can have in Him when we are going through the storms of life and motherhood when we feel like the next wave will sink us for certain. He is always there, always ready to bring peace to us in the storm.

Littlest known, yet most influential mom.

What does it mean to be a Mother? Is it merely a title given to any woman who conceives a child? Is it merely the tasks we complete each day to make sure everyone in the house is clothed, fed, cleaned, and put to bed? Is it more than that? Dear friend, I say, it is MUCH more than that.

Being a mother myself now, it's amazing to me what is birthed in a woman when she gives birth to a child. A sense of wonder, achievement, fear, responsibility, commitment, and deep unconditional love all well up from depths that we did not know existed. It's almost as if a new person comes into being as we take on the blessed task of raising the little one that lies in our arms immediately after birth. Such a huge and daunting task this is, such a heavy burden to bear. BUT, also such a blessing it is to be given the gift of motherhood and to watch your little one grow and flourish under your care and correction, love and affection, teaching and direction.

 I was so encouraged as Nathan preached at a nearby church that day and he spoke of the littlest known, yet most influential mom in the Bible. Her name was Jochebed, and though she is only mentioned in 2 verses in the entire Bible, she raised 3 of the most influential children in the Old Testament - Moses, Aaron, and Miriam. Jochebed did her God-given task of raising 3 godly children who would one day lead the entire nation of Israel out of captivity and into the Promised Land. She faithfully taught them and led by example what it meant to trust and follow God no matter the circumstances. Nathan encouraged we mothers in the church (those with children of their own as well as those spiritual children) that though we may go unnoticed or unspoken of, our influence is great and God gives us such a gift in being able to instill His statutes into the children He blesses us with. That is my hope and prayer, that though people may not remember me, or speak often of me in years to come, I hope and pray that what I have taught my children about our Lord and Savior would live on as they testify of their faith, hope, and trust in Him.

Where has the time gone?!?

My oh my has time flown since I last posted on here! I apologize for not keeping up better, especially with all the changes that have happened since Josiah was born. Here's some quick highlights of what happened in the month of April.


On April 6, I celebrated my birthday of 22 years of wonderful life! My dear husband took me out to Rodizios Brazilian Steakhouse and then to the Shout House in downtown Minneapolis where they have dueling pianos....so much fun! My favorite was a duel based on songs that have a number in the title, those guys know their music!

Rodizios, unlimited meat! :) yum yum!

The clean air of Nebraska and Kansas filled our lungs mid-April as we headed down to show off Josiah to the family before we move out to Pennsylvania for Nathan's Seminary internship. God was SO good to us in giving us an amazing visit with my Mamapolly, who arrived at her heavenly home just a month and a half later in June. So thankful that she and Josiah got to meet one another before she passed away.

Mamapolly and Josiah

4 Generations - Mom's side

4 Generations - Dad's side

Naps with Grandpa are the best! I think Grandpa enjoyed it too ;)

Dorothy Fischer - a family friend

Nathan and Benjamin working on a wood project

The finished wood project product!

We surprised Samuel at school for lunch!

My dear friend Tabitha

My Goddaughter, Stephanie

Good ol' floor time with Grandpa

We celebrated our risen Savior on Easter Sunday with Nathan preaching a wonderful message at a small local congregation.

At the end of April, we said our goodbyes to the youth group at RLC. After three years of youth ministry there, you realize how deeply God can use you and how hard it is to say goodbye. The pictures below are of the sword drills, Nathan teaching the 100+ youth, and me and my small group. <3

Introducing....Josiah Jerome Olson

Through the eyes of Josiah Jerome Olson, his birth story.

                           We're pregnant!                     20 weeks!               The night before he was born.
                                                                                                              (9 days overdue)

So, as most of you out there can see, I have been growing and growing over the last nine months. Mommy's tummy has gotten lots bigger to make room for me growing big and strong in here and she keeps it nice and warm for me. She talks to me and tells other people about what I've been up to. She's very proud of me. I haven't really met her yet, but even so, I love her very much. Mommy feeds me really good; I really like it when she eats fruits and veggies, those are my favorite. Daddy is really fun too, I hear him every day when he sings to me, talks to me, and prays with mommy for me. I can't wait to meet him too.

Everyday, I feel this cold draft on my back for a short amount of time when she goes to work..I'm not sure why she gets cold so fast and then warms right back up again. I keep hearing her talk about the 'snow' that won't go away and the 'cold weather.' I don't like the sounds of those things, so I think I might stay in here where it's warm for as long as possible.

.....

The midwife told mommy that I was supposed to come February 24th, but I really liked being in her tummy. It was warm and I got to be with mommy ALL the time. I loved being her little tag-a-long everywhere she went. By March, though, I was getting a little cramped and couldn't stretch my legs out very well. I would try to stretch my foot out straight and mommy would jump and push my foot back, I guess it hurt when I did that. So, on March 5, I mustered up all the courage I had in my little body, and by 4:30 a.m. on March 6, I let mommy know that I was finally ready to come out of my warm cocoon and see the world that she and daddy lived in. I woke her up early because I was just so excited for what was about to take place!

As the day progressed, she and daddy would time the 'contractions.' Every couple of minutes mommy's tummy would tighten around me like a big hug, but after lunch, those hugs didn't feel as nice as they did before and I don't think mommy liked them either. I could hear her moaning with each one and I was busy doing my fair share of work too, getting my head straightened the right way to come out. It's tough work being born!

We went to the hospital in the afternoon around my nap time, but it was hard to nap with all of those 'contractions' going on! If only they would give me a break so that I could nap and then keep doing my job of getting my head to fit the right way outta here.

I was so happy when mommy finally got into the bathtub because her whole body relaxed and I did too. The water around her tummy was so warm and I felt very safe. I tried my best to get moving quickly because I was getting tired and so was mommy. She wasn't laughing and talking to daddy anymore between 'hugs', she was silent between them and moaned very loudly when each big 'hug' came.

Before I knew it, the time came and my body was freed into a warm place where many hands were holding me. Next the hands put me on mommy's chest where I let out my first hello to the world. Mommy held me close to her chest and when the midwife asked if I had a name, she looked up at daddy, smiled, and said, "His name is Josiah Jerome." I was so happy to finally see her and be held close to her on the outside. Daddy is super nice too, he really likes to hold me and his big strong arms make me feel really safe.

So that's me! Now I'm here and learning lots about this big world. Mommy is still waiting for the cold to go away for good and I definitely agree now that I know what it is. More about me to come later. :)

Knowing the Master

Joy and Excitement pulse through my veins, the lifeblood of this pregnancy. They pulse through, giving that gentle reminder of the smaller heartbeat that exists, tucked away inside.  That gentle and joyful reminder of the beautiful role this body will soon take on. However, anxiety and fear also wind their way through those same veins, like bacteria seeking to destroy. Each day, the battle gets stronger as the good fights off the bad. The bad never gets completely exterminated though as it continues to multiply, changing and mutating in an attempt to disguise itself as something good. The fears, anxieties, and what if’s of the unknown challenge my mastery of them.

 “Instead of trying to Master the Unknown, 

focus on Knowing the Master.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Psalm 9:10 “And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

Psalm 63:6-8 “Whenever I remember you on my bed, and think about you during the nighttime hours; for you are my deliverer; under your wings I rejoice. My soul pursues you; your right hand upholds me.”

Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Habakkuk 3:19 “The sovereign Lord is my source of strength. He give me the agility of a deer; he enables me to negotiate the rugged terrain.”

And finally…

Proverbs 23:25 “May your father and your mother have joy; may she who bore you rejoice.”

His Word lives in me, searching to confront what is evil. His Word attacks what is bad, like white blood cells to bacteria, fighting it off to destroy it completely. May His Word be always on my lips, and forever written upon my heart, that I may not forget the truth about my God and Savior.

One Word.

How much could one word change your life in a year? This year I am taking the challenge to find out. The challenge to dismiss New Year’s resolutions, the challenge to have one singular focus for the entire year.

New Year’s resolutions are wonderful and produce great goals for people, but who really remembers them 3 weeks, 3 months in to the year? Who doesn’t get discouraged by the 15 lb. weight loss goal they made and then July comes and goes and they still haven’t lost a pound or their diet hasn’t worked like it promised?

A friend of mine recently asked me, “If you had to choose one word to focus on this year, what would it be?” I wasn’t sure… There are so many things that will be changing this coming year with a baby on the way and internship in May to who knows where with many new places and faces. At first, I thought maybe adapt or flexibility or forward would be good ones, but as prayed about how God would desire me to look at each day in this coming year, it came to me:

PAUSE & CHERISH

Ok, yes, it’s two words instead of one, but one without the other just didn't do it for me. I asked the Lord what He wanted for me this year and what kept coming to mind was to PAUSE, pause in the moment… and then CHERISH that moment, cherish each moment, each new adventure along the way.

Pause & Cherish each and every sunrise and the day that it brings.
Pause & Cherish the truth that I have a gracious God who loves me and sent His son to die for me.
Pause & Cherish my baby and the gift of motherhood.
Pause & Cherish my husband, the humble, servant leader in our home.
Pause & Cherish my family, my parents, my siblings.
Pause & Cherish time alone with my Lord and Savior.
Pause & Cherish the godly women God has placed in my life as mentors and dear friends.
Pause & Cherish each day as it is, instead of always looking for the weekend.

My prayer is that this list will continue to grow this year as God continues to reveal to me the things that He Himself takes time to cherish.

What will be your one word or one short phrase for this year?

How will God use that one word, that one focus to mold and shape you each and every of the 365 days this year?