Home

After being away from home for a little over seven months, I didn't know the extent of nostalgia I would encounter until the waves of emotions consumed me to the point of numbness when we actually arrived. I couldn't wait to come back to the Midwest, my forever home, but I was not ready for how surreal it would feel to drive the long and wide open highway of 35W that Thursday morning. I wasn't ready to breathe the clear air of the spacious farmland of my parent's home. I wasn't ready to see my parents, siblings, and in-laws and actually hug them and feel the warmth of their bodies after so long of solely observing their pixelated forms through a laptop via Skype. I was speechless when I witnessed the breathtaking views of a Kansas sunset as the brilliant colors exploded across the sky and changed from moment to moment, stretching more than 20 miles in any direction along the horizon. So much that I wasn't ready for, but only because I didn't realize just how deeply I had missed everything that makes up what I call home.

The shock factor wore off as the tears dried and I sat down to breathe deeply of my homeland. To drive on roads that held so many memories worked muscles in my brain that hadn't been exercised for some time, but it felt like riding a bike after not doing so for some time, and it just came back so naturally. It felt like a dream, but knowing that it wasn't, knowing that it was true reality brought joy and warmth to my heart.

It was such a blessing to spend time with family and see the beauty in God's design of it. God designed family to remind us of our relationship with Him as His children, something that I came to realize means much more to me than ever before. You are still family no matter how many miles may separate you, and the history and connection you share is timeless. Hugs hold something almost like electricity, giving life. Late night conversations about life's passions, dreams, and struggles are shared in the safety of home, refreshing the soul. Ah, it was good to be home.



Our little guy did so well too, travelling 2+ hours in a plane one way, 9 hours in a car one way to KS, and meeting so many 'new' people that he was re-acquainted with. He was the center of attention and I think he realized that pretty quickly as the grins, giggles, and showing off began to surface.


Not only did we make this a trip to see family, but we also carved out some time for dear friends. As I partook in fellowship with women who have held significant roles as friends and mentors in my life, I began to realize how deeply each one has impacted my life. And as I spent time with them, my cup began to overflow. Even though I felt as though I barely scratched the surface of 'catching up' from the last 7 months, somehow, deep meaningful conversation still happened. I felt the twinkle in my soul revive as we poured our lives out to one another, encouraging one another in our different callings of life, continuing to deepen friendships that will last a lifetime. I remember one day returning to my in-law's home, cheeks sore from smiling and laughing so much with all of the women I had met with that day. God is SO good and I am one blessed woman.

Our trip was nothing short of a whirlwind as we tried to see as many people as we possibly could in the 2 short weeks we were back in the Midwest. We weren't able to see some people for as long as we desired and others we didn't get to see at all, but we did our best and tried to be at peace knowing we only had 2 weeks to fit it all in.

And now, as I sit once again on my couch in our beautiful home in Bethel Park, PA, I know that this too is home, the place God has planted me to bloom for His glory and to share with these people the love He has for all of us. I do miss my home away  from this home, but God is good and I am ever so grateful for the privilege to at least visit there for a while.

My One Word 2015

In 2014, I was challenged by a dear friend to choose one word to focus on for a year. No New Years Resolutions, no lists of habits to curb/break, no exercise or health tracks to join, just one word. One word to focus on, to meditate on, to be challenged by ALL YEAR LONG. 

So, last year, I prayed and sought out what one word God would have for my almost 22 year old, entering motherhood, self. I narrowed it down to two words, pause and cherish, but I couldn't decide which one to choose. I wrote them down on sticky notes on my desk and stared at them for a long time. Both were things I desired to do more of in my life, but which to choose? 

I didn't end up needing to choose because the truth is that they must go hand in hand. In order to cherish something, you must first pause from everything else going on....and in looking ahead to motherhood, I wanted to take those moments to pause and cherish our family. 

Pausing to cherish our little guy peacefully sleeping during Auntie's big graduation ceremony.

Looking back at how much changed in this last year, I am so grateful that I was challenged to do this and I can definitely say that I paused often to cherish life - the big moments, the little moments, the busy and the slow moments, and even the mundane moments of life. And because of that, I'm doing it again, choosing one word/phrase to focus on ALL YEAR LONG.

F.R.O.G.

Back in my years of elementary school, Christian acronyms were really big. Almost every young Christian kid wore a bracelet that read W.W.J.D. (What Would Jesus Do), F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God), or something catchy like that on it. It was a fun and simple way to remind ourselves of our walk with God in the secular world around us, and they looked pretty cool too! My favorite one was always F.R.O.G. and I think I even made a backpack keychain, out of beads, of a frog and put the letters F.R.O.G. in it. Cool huh?!? It's SO last year, I know, but it really was cool back then. (wow, did I really just type, "back then?") It's been years since I've used some of those acronyms but I still remember what they stand for and I love the meaning that is packed into these little words that someone made into an acronym. 

So, in coming into the New Year of 2015, I pondered for several days what word I should choose for this year. Last years words were so good and I wanted this year to be just as meaningful. I wanted to choose carefully, listening for God's leading in what He wanted me to focus on this year, and I wanted the word to challenge me in my walk with Him.

F.R.O.G. kept coming to mind. Fully Rely On God, Fully Rely On God. "But it's not one word," I kept thinking..... but it kept coming back and as I laid it before the Throne, I realized just how much this concept would shape me this year.

• In about five months, we will be finishing up our internship and moving once again to a new home in a new state. Fully Rely On God during the packing up, saying goodbye, life transitions, and new surroundings.
• Fully Rely On God for the next year (3-4 actually) while hubby pursues his calling in teaching by getting his PhD, and I continue in my mommyhood and PHT (Put Hubby Through) degrees.
• Fully Rely On God as our little man continues to grow and learn, looking to me for direction, guidance, encouragement, and correction.
• Fully Relying on God to continue to shape and mold this clay pot that I am, knowing each adjustment, addition, or modification to that pot could be tedious and painful at times.
• Fully Rely on God for time management in making time for Him each and every day because He is the one that gives each and every new day.

And so many other things I have yet to realize I need to Fully Rely on Him for. But that's what the point it though right? To walk through the year and see why God laid this word, this phrase upon my heart to focus on and to draw closer to Him who gave this life to me to live for His purpose and glory.