The waves and wind still know His name

"Grander earth has quaked before

moved by the sound of his voice

seas that are shaken and stirred

can be calmed and broken for my regard"

In my last post, I shared with you how the seas of our hearts felt shaken and stirred as we searched for alternate housing options during our 3-4 year stay in St. Louis. We watched the moments and days tick by with no solid lead on what path to take and less than three months to moving day. We spent hours on the phone, on the computer, and in prayer trying to make sense of where God may be leading us and how to make the wisest and most responsible decision for our family.

"Through it all

through it all

my eyes are on You

through it all

through it all

it is well

through it all

through it all

my eyes are on You

and it is well with me"

God has been so gracious to us through it all, and I have been reminded frequently to Fully Rely On God (my phrase to focus on for the year). It has been beautiful and often stilling to see the ways God is choosing to teach me this simple thing He desires of us...to fully rely on Him and Him alone. His eye is on the sparrow. With our eyes fixed on Him, we waited to see more of the picture He had in store for us. 

"Far be it from me to not believe

even when my eyes cannot see

And this mountain that's in front of me

will be thrown into the midst of the sea"

We didn't even have the slightest idea of where this search would lead, and our eyes could not see what lie ahead. Sometimes we would sigh and try to make sense of the situation we saw before us, but we knew that we had to let go and trust Him because we knew He could see it all. He had us in the palm of His hand through it all and the mountain that stood before us was indeed thrown into the midst of the sea!

"Through it all

through it all

my eyes are on You

through it all

through it all

it is well

So let go my soul and trust in Him
the waves and wind still know His name"

Our God IS faithful and He has brought us to the place that was previously known as the unknown future and we see much clearer now. A beautiful home will now be ours to live in and grow in over the next 3-4 years. We couldn't have asked for a more wonderful answer to prayer. A beautiful and cozy home, a price we can make manageable payments on, a location that ensures safety and proximity to the school, and realtors who have truly been a miracle to us in all the work they have put into helping us through this process.

You never know what the future holds until you get there, and though it may not be what you expected, what you do know is that the future is held tightly in the loving hands of an Almighty God. 

"So let go my soul and trust in Him

the waves and wind still know His name

the waves and wind still know His name"

I am reminded of the time when the disciples found themselves in the stirring seas of Galilee. They could not see what lie ahead for them and the seas of their hearts as well as the seas around them were being stirred and shaken about. But there, on the mountainside was Jesus, keeping watchful eye over them. He went out and met them in the middle of the storm to calm their troubled hearts and refocus their eyes onto Him. He calmed the storm around them too, to remind them that

"the waves and wind still know His name"

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement to us in this time as we move ahead to what God has in store for us in these next months and years. For now we continue on in the process of making this new-found home officially ours, preparing to end our time in Bethel Park well, and keeping our eyes fixed on Him.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

The lyrics interspersed throughout this post are from a lovely song I found this past year called, "It is well" by Bethel Music. I love how God refocuses our eyes on Him in the stirred seas of life to help us see that the waves and wind do still know their Creator's name. Here is the link to listen to the song.

~God is with us each step of the way~

I'm always caught off-guard when something doesn't go the way I thought it would or when things happen totally out of the blue. For the past two weeks things have been a bit unsettled around the Olson household. Stress has been high and the unknowns of the future have kept us gripping the edge of our seats. My recent labors of love in our home have unfortunately been more so labors done in haste and labors lacking grace or patience. Our eyes are focused upwards in prayer as we navigate what lies ahead for us in the coming weeks, months, and even years.

As many of you know, our internship out in Pennsylvania is nearing its close and we have been getting prepared for Nathan to graduate from Seminary back in Minnesota in a few weeks. We are also beginning to gaze ahead towards our time in St. Louis as Nathan pursues his PhD in Systematic Theology. We will be stationed there for 3-4 years and will be serving a church in conjunction with attending the Seminary. Details have been falling into place over the last months as we've been working to get all of our ducks in a row to move in a little over three months.

Things got a bit unsettled last week as we received news that we did not get on-campus housing at Concordia Seminary where we are moving to in a little over 3 months. Our plan and our hope had been to live on campus for many different reasons, those of which I will spare you for now. We were very diligent in submitting our application the moment registrations for housing opened. Yet, even though we did our best to wait without expectations or assumptions, we were still disheartened to hear we would have to look elsewhere for a place to live.

It was a bit unsettling for my husband, the leader of our family, to now have the burden of finding a resting place for his wife and son in a matter of three months. Things have continued to become more unsettled as we have sought options of apartments, houses, live-in care options, basement rentals and found ourselves at several dead ends or unrealistic goals. Is it just me or does everything seem to happen all at once like a big dam breaks and whoosh, you're overwhelmed?

Other things rushing through that broken dam and unsettling our home included injury and sickness raiding our home. I took a spill down the stairs at church on Wednesday with our son in the front pack and severely twisted my ankle which now is a swollen rainbow of colors. Praise God I fell in such a way that he wasn't hurt and praise God that he was in the front pack and not on my hip so that I didn't drop him. Then to add insult to injury, we've all had bad colds and sleepless nights throughout the last two weeks. Josiah and I had two bouts with colds and are still recovering from cold number two.

So, when I came across the above picture that I took 5 years ago shortly after beginning school at AFLBS in Minneapolis, MN, I couldn't help but chuckle and tear up at the same time. The last two weeks have been a bit unsettling, but God IS with us each step of the way. Days get rough sometimes and our hearts can get a bit unsettled, but we are not alone. God, the God of angel armies sees our every move. He walks with us and guides us as a Father guides his child.

As we go through this process in the days and weeks ahead, would you pray for us? Join us in prayer over our housing situation. Join us in praying for smooth transitions as we end our time in PA and begin our time in MO.

May God bless your day this day and always, and no matter how smooth or rough this day, know that God is with you each and every step of the way.

New Life

I can't even begin to describe to you just how delighted I am when spring finally arrives. Every year when the snow melts away after what seems like the longest winter you've ever experienced, (even though this same thing happens every year believe it or not) I let out a big sigh and think, "I made it, I truly thought it would never end!" I actually get giddy over going outside barefoot in the cool green grass and sitting on my front steps basking in the sun (in a sweatshirt of course because it's barely 50 degrees outside).

               After a long winter,

                               spring really brings into focus

                            just how sweet new life is. 

OUR new life in Christ, because of His death and resurrection from the dead, is even sweeter than seeing the first green blades of grass and breathing deep lung-fulls of fresh air after a long, cold, and dark winter.

 Life in Christ is more brilliant than the rays of a spring sun that fill the sky, proclaiming freedom for new life to spring forth!

Happy 1st Birthday!

Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. 

Our precious little boy celebrated his Birth Day 365 short days ago 

weighing in at 7 lbs. 4 oz.  21 inches long and full of handsomeness. 

Today he celebrates his One year birthday 

weighing in at 20 lbs. 29 inches long and still full of handsomeness!

Our hearts have been overflowing with love and joy since the day he arrived.

~Birthday Breakfast~
Pancakes, eggs, and applesauce

Happy 1st Birthday Josiah!

Josiah - 1 Cupcake - 0

Dearest Josiah

      Dearest little one, it seems just like yesterday that you woke us up at 4 am to announce your plans to start the adventure in the outside world. You entered this world with eyes wide open ready to take on anything, and that's exactly what you've done. Each day you discover new ways to play, new things you can do, new ways to make your mama and daddy laugh. 
      You've just begun to take multiple steps at a time and it is such a joy to us to see the joy in your face as you take each step with glee. I love how you cackle when you reach your destination and how you look to me or daddy for praise in your accomplishment. My heart sings when you wrap your little arms around me neck and snuggle your head into my shoulder when you get tired. Or when we dance, I love how you hold your little hand in mine and smile as we spin and sway. 
      You have a innate heart to help others as you already help me unload the dishwasher by handing me each piece of silverware with such joy, all on your own initiative. And you love to share. You share everything, even your first cupcake on your birthday. You had to let mama and daddy in on the yummy goodness of frosting and chocolate cake. 
      I am deeply grateful to be your mama, to watch you grow and learn and discover this big world. To have the opportunity to teach you as one of God's precious children about His love, grace, and mercy is one of the highest, daunting, and most fulfilling callings out there. And somehow God has graciously seen fit to grant such a task to this woman you call mama. I pray God's riches blessings and guidance upon you young boy. I love you baby boy, Happy 1st Birthday!

                     Love,
                         Mama

So often I feel so unworthy, so unprepared, so lacking, as I teach this young man. There is so much to teach him, so much that even I am still learning and struggling through to understand. God knows that though, He knows that I'm not perfect for this job, He knows that I've still got lots to learn. That same unworthiness I feel is what is also so beautiful about the labor of love of motherhood.

Each day God patiently molds and shapes me. He carves and forms me into what this young man needs in a mama to help him grow into a young godly man, full of wisdom and stature. He often sends me a little boost of encouragement as my son looks up at me and smiles with that sweet smile that reminds me that it's not me he sees, it's Jesus. It's moments like that (and so many others too) that I Praise the Lord that He works through us especially in our weaknesses. He supplies us with all we need and for that, I am daily humbled and grateful.

Bedtime

Small chubby fingers rest on top of my hands as we sit cross-legged on the bed reading a Bible story before bedtime. This is one of the small windows of opportunity I have in which Josiah sits peacefully on my lap. More often than not, I see his bum as he scurries away on a new adventure...the exact reason why I took this picture for one of his 10 month photos...because we have an adventurous little man who is always eager to learn and explore new things.

As he sat there on my lap so sweetly listening to the story of Abraham and Isaac on Mt. Moriah, I couldn't help but notice how much bigger he has gotten. His legs now stretch over my criss-crossed legs whereas for so long they would tuck neatly into the space of my lap. Now, every night he helps me open the book, eager to read a new story and flip pages as his eyes take in all the colors of the pictures on the pages of his Jesus Storybook Bible. He glances up at me reading every once in a while, just to smile at me and watch my lips make each word to which I respond by gently kissing his forehead. Such a sweet baby boy.

He snuggled into my lap a little more as I prayed and then started to sing Amazing Grace and May the Lord, songs that Nathan and I grew up having sung to us at bedtime each night. His hands remained on mine as I sang until he found my adventure ring and began to twirl it around my finger. Tears started to fill my eyes at the beauty of this time. And then, he looked up at me, at my tear-filled eyes, and pointed his little index finger at my eyes almost as if to ask, "Mommy, why do have tears in your eyes?" O dear one, my heart is so full it is overflowing in tears of love and joy.

After tucking him into his crib and kissing him one last time on the bridge of his nose right between his eyes, I softly stepped out into the hallway. Thinking back to him playing with my adventure ring, I paused to reminisce all of the adventures that have come my way, our way, since that ring found its home there on my right hand ring finger. It is the ring Nathan gave me on our wedding night, an adventure ring, he called it, for all the adventures we had yet to encounter as we journeyed through the adventure of marriage. 

And my oh my, so many adventures packed into less than 3 years of marriage. Some big and exhilerating, others tough like running up a mountain, and still others tranquil as each day passes making the story of our lives. And this adventure, this time of parenting and shepherding the souls of the children God grants to live under our roof... It goes by so quickly, but maybe, just maybe, there is adventure in even the little things like tonight, while little fingers rest so peacefully on mine.

.

Home

After being away from home for a little over seven months, I didn't know the extent of nostalgia I would encounter until the waves of emotions consumed me to the point of numbness when we actually arrived. I couldn't wait to come back to the Midwest, my forever home, but I was not ready for how surreal it would feel to drive the long and wide open highway of 35W that Thursday morning. I wasn't ready to breathe the clear air of the spacious farmland of my parent's home. I wasn't ready to see my parents, siblings, and in-laws and actually hug them and feel the warmth of their bodies after so long of solely observing their pixelated forms through a laptop via Skype. I was speechless when I witnessed the breathtaking views of a Kansas sunset as the brilliant colors exploded across the sky and changed from moment to moment, stretching more than 20 miles in any direction along the horizon. So much that I wasn't ready for, but only because I didn't realize just how deeply I had missed everything that makes up what I call home.

The shock factor wore off as the tears dried and I sat down to breathe deeply of my homeland. To drive on roads that held so many memories worked muscles in my brain that hadn't been exercised for some time, but it felt like riding a bike after not doing so for some time, and it just came back so naturally. It felt like a dream, but knowing that it wasn't, knowing that it was true reality brought joy and warmth to my heart.

It was such a blessing to spend time with family and see the beauty in God's design of it. God designed family to remind us of our relationship with Him as His children, something that I came to realize means much more to me than ever before. You are still family no matter how many miles may separate you, and the history and connection you share is timeless. Hugs hold something almost like electricity, giving life. Late night conversations about life's passions, dreams, and struggles are shared in the safety of home, refreshing the soul. Ah, it was good to be home.



Our little guy did so well too, travelling 2+ hours in a plane one way, 9 hours in a car one way to KS, and meeting so many 'new' people that he was re-acquainted with. He was the center of attention and I think he realized that pretty quickly as the grins, giggles, and showing off began to surface.


Not only did we make this a trip to see family, but we also carved out some time for dear friends. As I partook in fellowship with women who have held significant roles as friends and mentors in my life, I began to realize how deeply each one has impacted my life. And as I spent time with them, my cup began to overflow. Even though I felt as though I barely scratched the surface of 'catching up' from the last 7 months, somehow, deep meaningful conversation still happened. I felt the twinkle in my soul revive as we poured our lives out to one another, encouraging one another in our different callings of life, continuing to deepen friendships that will last a lifetime. I remember one day returning to my in-law's home, cheeks sore from smiling and laughing so much with all of the women I had met with that day. God is SO good and I am one blessed woman.

Our trip was nothing short of a whirlwind as we tried to see as many people as we possibly could in the 2 short weeks we were back in the Midwest. We weren't able to see some people for as long as we desired and others we didn't get to see at all, but we did our best and tried to be at peace knowing we only had 2 weeks to fit it all in.

And now, as I sit once again on my couch in our beautiful home in Bethel Park, PA, I know that this too is home, the place God has planted me to bloom for His glory and to share with these people the love He has for all of us. I do miss my home away  from this home, but God is good and I am ever so grateful for the privilege to at least visit there for a while.

My One Word 2015

In 2014, I was challenged by a dear friend to choose one word to focus on for a year. No New Years Resolutions, no lists of habits to curb/break, no exercise or health tracks to join, just one word. One word to focus on, to meditate on, to be challenged by ALL YEAR LONG. 

So, last year, I prayed and sought out what one word God would have for my almost 22 year old, entering motherhood, self. I narrowed it down to two words, pause and cherish, but I couldn't decide which one to choose. I wrote them down on sticky notes on my desk and stared at them for a long time. Both were things I desired to do more of in my life, but which to choose? 

I didn't end up needing to choose because the truth is that they must go hand in hand. In order to cherish something, you must first pause from everything else going on....and in looking ahead to motherhood, I wanted to take those moments to pause and cherish our family. 

Pausing to cherish our little guy peacefully sleeping during Auntie's big graduation ceremony.

Looking back at how much changed in this last year, I am so grateful that I was challenged to do this and I can definitely say that I paused often to cherish life - the big moments, the little moments, the busy and the slow moments, and even the mundane moments of life. And because of that, I'm doing it again, choosing one word/phrase to focus on ALL YEAR LONG.

F.R.O.G.

Back in my years of elementary school, Christian acronyms were really big. Almost every young Christian kid wore a bracelet that read W.W.J.D. (What Would Jesus Do), F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God), or something catchy like that on it. It was a fun and simple way to remind ourselves of our walk with God in the secular world around us, and they looked pretty cool too! My favorite one was always F.R.O.G. and I think I even made a backpack keychain, out of beads, of a frog and put the letters F.R.O.G. in it. Cool huh?!? It's SO last year, I know, but it really was cool back then. (wow, did I really just type, "back then?") It's been years since I've used some of those acronyms but I still remember what they stand for and I love the meaning that is packed into these little words that someone made into an acronym. 

So, in coming into the New Year of 2015, I pondered for several days what word I should choose for this year. Last years words were so good and I wanted this year to be just as meaningful. I wanted to choose carefully, listening for God's leading in what He wanted me to focus on this year, and I wanted the word to challenge me in my walk with Him.

F.R.O.G. kept coming to mind. Fully Rely On God, Fully Rely On God. "But it's not one word," I kept thinking..... but it kept coming back and as I laid it before the Throne, I realized just how much this concept would shape me this year.

• In about five months, we will be finishing up our internship and moving once again to a new home in a new state. Fully Rely On God during the packing up, saying goodbye, life transitions, and new surroundings.
• Fully Rely On God for the next year (3-4 actually) while hubby pursues his calling in teaching by getting his PhD, and I continue in my mommyhood and PHT (Put Hubby Through) degrees.
• Fully Rely On God as our little man continues to grow and learn, looking to me for direction, guidance, encouragement, and correction.
• Fully Relying on God to continue to shape and mold this clay pot that I am, knowing each adjustment, addition, or modification to that pot could be tedious and painful at times.
• Fully Rely on God for time management in making time for Him each and every day because He is the one that gives each and every new day.

And so many other things I have yet to realize I need to Fully Rely on Him for. But that's what the point it though right? To walk through the year and see why God laid this word, this phrase upon my heart to focus on and to draw closer to Him who gave this life to me to live for His purpose and glory.